Dear Parents,

I write to you as a father who buried one of my two sons.  Darrel/Abdul Jackmon/El Muhajir transitioned at 39 years old from manic depression and took his life by walking into a train.He graduated from University of California, Berkeley in Arabic and Near Eastern Literature. He studied at the American University, Cairo, Egypt, and won a Fulbright fellowship to the University of Damascus, Syria. He  was a graduate student in Near Eastern Studies at Harvard University until his disability overwhelmed him. People said he was my twin: he looked like me, talked like me, laughed like me, walked like me. Indeed, he was my friend, my brother, even though they say a parent should not be so close to their child. He often told me he was going to preach my funeral and tell every secret thing he knew about me. But as happens so often these days, I spoke at his funeral.

So I say to all parents who have lost and buried children in America, for whatever reason,I understand your pain like no other pain I ever experienced in my 73 years on this planet. Some parents lost children from police, gang or other forms of violence. It doesn't matter how it happened. Clinical psychologist/sociologist Dr. Nathan Hare says, "Suicide and homicide are two sides of the same coin!" And he adds, "Much of this violence is from a situational disorder caused by oppression." Dr. Frantz Fanon told us the only way the oppressed can regain his mental health is through the process of revolution, of becoming a social activist to heal himself/herself and our oppressed society.

Of course, as a parent, the first thing I had to do was heal from my trauma and unresolved grief. Loving my partner was out of the question. I sunk so deep into the black hole that it took five years of solitude in the mountains for me to regain my mental equilibrium. Aside from nature itself, it was writing five books in those five years that brought healing and closure to my life. Unlike many parents, I was fortunate to have a rich  patron who afforded me time in the mountains to experience neural placidity or a reformation and transformation of my brain cells, and after five years I was ready to face life again.

It was then that I returned to the city, Oakland, and resumed teaching at my Academy of da Corner, 14th and Broadway, downtown Oakland. Even though fellow author and my elder, Ishmael Reed, described me as, "Plato teaching on the streets of Oakland," it was not a

philosophical adventure, rather I was now forced to help heal those who came by my stand with the pain, trauma and unresolved grief that I'd just healed from. I had to simply listen to them, sometimes eyeball to eyeball because they got right up in my face to make sure I was listening to them and hearing their pain, trauma and grief that they could not share with

anyone else, for no one else had time being so overwhelmed by the trauma of their own lives.  I listened since I knew God had healed me and prepared me to heal others. For sure, I knew my Academy of the Corner wasn't about discussing philosophical issues or selling my books. Often, people, young men and women, fathers and mothers, lined up at my table for advice and understanding. One mother came with her daughter because the mother wanted her daughter to understand that she was too beautiful and intelligent to be a mother who spent the night with men but came home without money for her baby's Pampers! People came who couldn't understand why the police murder of their loved one was not in the paper, why there was no rally or march for them; there wasn't even a police investigation whether it was murder under the color of law or a gang related murder or murder due to sexual improprieties by their partner who was then set up to be whacked!

Sometimes young men come by who want to kill their blood brother so I did my best to talk them out of it. On more than one occasion, brothers came by who wanted to kill me! Often they were jealous and envious of my books, especially when we conversed and I responded with arrogance as I am known to do when pressed. I had to learn to be humble and not escalate the conversation. One brother got upset when he walked by several times and I forgot he'd told me he didn't want my books because he didn't read. He'd told me the first time he passed that his woman read, not him.

In short, America is under great stress at this time. We are in a low intensity war, mainly with ourselves, not any external enemy or domestic foe. Michael Jackson told us about the Man in the Mirror. We have turned one of the most richest and beautiful countries in the world into a hell hole of violence, mayhem and drug addiction. Drugs are necessary not only for the

physical pain but mental pain as well. It is no mystery why Americans are addicted to opioids and other pain killers. The root addiction of America’s pain is addiction to white supremacy (Type I and II, Dr. Nathan Hare). Whites suffer Type I addiction, we suffer type II. The oppressor and oppressed suffer different maladies.

Imagine America is a nation of  300 million people who possess 300 million guns, although everyone doesn't possess a gun. Perhaps, if there was a level playing field, much of the

mass murder would subside. America has always tried to keep guns from her African slaves. Alas, after the Civil War she hurried to disarm the 200,000 North American Africans who

could have achieved total liberation if not tricked into disarming.

With the recent mass murder of school children, perhaps our children, the victims, shall

demand a solution that may require them to secure themselves. For sure, parents cannot continue this most unnatural ritual of burying our children.

Clearly, as we see in the Florida school shooting, if our children observe we cannot secure them, they shall ultimately find a way to secure themselves. Imagine the utter failure of parents and adults who must allow children to lead the way to this nation's security. How absurd and insane is this when the USA spends nearly a trillion dollars on military hardware but cannot secure our children. Sadly, with the US trillion dollar defense budget and military bases in over 150 countries, there is no peace in the world, nor is there any peace in America. God bless America!

We pray for all parents who are grieving at this hour over the lost of their children. We share their grief but want them to know time heals all wounds. Healing shall not come overnight, but it shall come, so be patient and pray to your Lord.

And if you lose a child but have other children, love them with all your heart and soul, no

matter male or female, because fathers addicted to the patriarchal mythology,

your daughters may surprise you to the utmost degree with their talent and intelligence,

thus they shall help you heal from the loss of a male child. Further, your grandchildren will shock you with the spirit of your lost child, but just know your grandchildren may possess the physical and spiritual energy of your lost child, yet you must respect them for themselves and let them be themselves rather than the child you lost. Finally, there are many fatherless and motherless children who need your love. God shall present them to you, so recognize and give them your love. Ache. Ache. Ache.

--Marvin X